This article was so, so validating to read. I live in England but am still very interested in learning about the partners’ support group. I was with someone for 20 years like Carol in the article. All of Carol’s and the doctors’ quotes ring so true for me! I have been separated for 3-1/2 years taking my 12 year old with ASD and 11 year old with Cystic Fibrosis with me and my ex having my two teenagers, one of which a boy who is 18 has slipped through the net of diagnosis but suffers from depression and self-harm. You can appreciate your husband’s need for control and organisation but when it is at the cost of being in total control over you I feel this is a very bad example to set. Also if a marriage is to work both must appreciate each others’ points of view because I feel that although the extreme male practical and literal way of seeing things is useful so is understanding people’s feelings and needs and helping in times of weakness and here I think the key is BALANCE between the two. Problem is like article says it is usually the Non-Aspie that has to lower expectations which would not be so bad if you did not also have to lower your expectation of respect from your children because you are seen as needy and emotional when really you are the one handling everything! Thanks so much!

This article was so, so validating to read. I live in England but am still very interested in learning about the partners’ support group. I was with someone for 20 years like Carol in the article. All of Carol’s and the doctors’ quotes ring so true for me! I have been separated for 3-1/2 years taking my 12 year old with ASD and 11 year old with Cystic Fibrosis with me and my ex having my two teenagers, one of which a boy who is 18 has slipped through the net of diagnosis but suffers from depression and self-harm. You can appreciate your husband’s need for control and organisation but when it is at the cost of being in total control over you I feel this is a very bad example to set. Also if a marriage is to work both must appreciate each others’ points of view because I feel that although the extreme male practical and literal way of seeing things is useful so is understanding people’s feelings and needs and helping in times of weakness and here I think the key is BALANCE between the two. Problem is like article says it is usually the Non-Aspie that has to lower expectations which would not be so bad if you did not also have to lower your expectation of respect from your children because you are seen as needy and emotional when really you are the one handling everything! Thanks so much!